Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan

As the World Cup draws near, we are being hit every day with news of another player that must miss out for such and such reason. Each of these incidents is a shame, because the whole point of the tournament is to bring together the best talent in the world. But few are as interesting as the two most recent tragedies.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

In order to remove all traces of Nandrolone from their urine in record time, the PCB has launched an incredible and impressive secret campaign. Adbul Razzaq, an important, yet replaceable, member of the squad, conveniently fractured his knee just minutes before leaving for the Caribbean. In an interview, he appeared completely befuddled as to how it happened. Chloroform, anyone?

Meanwhile, the rest of the squad, including the reserves, and even a few spectators, have already pissed in cups and been cleared by some drug testing authority in Malaysia. Wasn’t the movie “Entrapment”, starring Sean Connery, filmed in Malaysia? Didn’t Connery play Bond for a while? Wasn’t “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” the worst film ever made? Exactly. That’s shady too.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

In one of my earliest posts, I applauded Michael Holding for sticking up for Inzi and pointing out double standards in world cricket. I also noted that this was against my better judgement; that he is, in fact, an idiot, but that his statement on that occasion had thoroughly impressed me.

Well, his statement du jour is no less impressive. Unfortunately it’s for all the wrong reasons. Mr. Holding is back to his old ways. The ways, in short, of a choot.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

Position Available: Opener for the Pakistan cricket team (National Squad) – temporary position

Position Requirements

No experience required.

Age – Must be young. Under 25, with minimum domestic or international exposure.

Preference for candidates from “warring tribal areas.”

Required to score 100 on debut
…and 50 every 20th game thereafter.

Cover drives must be spectacular
…no other shots required
…the worse your pull shot, the better your chances
…proper technique is severely frowned upon

Must flash aggressively at every 3rd delivery well outside the off stump
…contact with delivery optional

Must get out on every 5th such aggressive flash
…contact with delivery not optional

Bandana wearers encouraged to apply.

Must have the diving agility of a cheetah
…but the catching ability of a snail

Must be able to bowl legspin or off break
…however, not required to take wickets (please see note)

Note: In the event that a wicket is taken, or if said player does in fact have wicket taking abilities, the PCB and team management cannot be held responsible for the consequences. The ICC will suspend said player for one of the following reasons:

I don’t often say nice things about the Pakistan team. Reading billu.net, one might be inclined to think I don’t even like them.

But I do. And they won. In most awesome fashion. And I am psyched.

It’s been a while since I saw them perform so professionally. I will admit that after the last ODI I thought it was all over. In fact, I was going to post, but I got lazy. I was going to say that the management will now panic and start shuffling players around. I was going to say that every now and then you will lose badly, but it doesn’t mean you freak out and change everything around.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

Darrell Hair is like a big, fat, ugly boomerang – no matter how far you think you’ve thrown him, he keeps coming back. The latest installment in this ongoing saga involves him trying to sue the PCB for racial discrimination.

Of course, the PCB is blaming it all on the ICC and all sorts of other rhetoric. But I want to try and follow this to its logical conclusion – which begs the question, on what grounds is Mr. Hair claiming that the PCB is a racist organization?

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

Don’t get me wrong. I like Danish Kaneria. I saw him on a plane once, showing a picture of a hot woman in a magazine to Kamran Akmal. I found it amusing. He seems friendly. And he has an innocent look about him, like he’s not hiding anything.

Unfortunately, that’s the problem. What he’s actually like as a person I can only guess, but it’s quite clear that as a bowler, he’s not hiding anything. He has no tricks up his sleeve. Or up anything, for that matter.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

In this post, Teeth Maestro refutes my (and to some extent, Omar’s) argument that Shoaib Akhtar should play on the Pakistan team based on performance and not personality. His point is that Shoaib’s unruliness and disregard for authority splinters the Pakistan team, generating a lack of discipline and unity.

As usual, I have something to say about this.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

I am sick of people saying:

“Shoaib Akhtar is arrogant and therefore should not play.”

It is idiotic. Since when did humility become a prerequisite for playing cricket, or any sport for that matter? These players are supposed to be professionals. This is their job. If Shoaib is arrogant, don’t go to dinner with him, or invite him over to play with your kids. But surely you can work with him. God knows we’ve all worked with a few arrogant idiots from time to time.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .

Pakistan needn’t worry about silly things like having an 11 man team.

When we started the series I was ecstatic that four specialist bowlers were playing, instead of the Razzaq/Afridi/Malik types that Woolmer seems to love from so deep within the most sensitive parts of his cock. Alas, my joy was unjustified after all. It appears that even if we had sported a team of 11 bowlers, only two of them (Kaneria and Asif) would have bowled. Asif may be our best option for taking wickets, but after his having bowled 40 overs in an innings even I’d fancy my chances of lasting a couple of his overs. At this rate, he may suffer a heart attack before the end of the series. Let’s just hope that Nandrolone doesn’t wear off anytime soon.

This article at Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan has been composed by Billu.net .